


still feel it all

by seolarss (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Don’t read this, Gen, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Unrequited Love, donghyuck is miserable, im sorry, there is nothing happy about this, this is garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25327762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/seolarss
Summary: donghyuck will never stop loving his best friend.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30





	still feel it all

**Author's Note:**

> i’m sorry this is so fucking stupid and also not my big project im just sad and i needed to get something out no matter how short it was and i didn’t want to make the big project angstier than it already is
> 
> the song that inspired this is still feel it all by maro lol go check it out

it’s been five years since donghyuck fell in love with minhyung, and five years since his heart has been broken. 

it really isn’t minhyung’s fault. it never will be, in donghyuck’s eyes. it’s not like he led him on. sometimes, like in donghyuck’s case, they simply don’t love you back. 

but god, if it doesn’t tear at his heart every time minhyung smiles at him. every time an arm wraps around his waist or a chin rests on his shoulder, donghyuck forgets how to breathe. he hopes that minhyung never notices the hitch in his breath, or the shifting of his eyes. he prays he’s forgotten about the donghyuck’s secret altogether. 

donghyuck still remembers the moment. he remembers looking into his eyes, watching as he laughed at something jaehyun had said until tears formed in them, threatening to spill down his cheeks. he remembers the warmth of his hand as it grabbed at his thigh, squeezing tightly as if to say,  _ isn’t this hyung hilarious?  _ he can’t even remember what jaehyun had said—it’d left his mind the moment minhyung began laughing. but he remembers the dread that dripped down his spine, like an ice cube had been pressed to the burning skin at the back of his neck and was melting down his back. the horror and humiliation at the realisation that he had fallen in love with his best friend. 

but worse, he remembers the moment minhyung found out. the way his eyes stopped sparkling with curiosity and excitement. the way the smile on his face dropped. he remembers every emotion that made itself known on his face: confusion, comprehension, surprise, and worst of all, pity. donghyuck knew from the moment he’d told him that minhyung didn’t love him back. he remembers the softness of his voice when he let him down, and the way he never looked away from donghyuck, no matter how uncomfortable it had been to watch him cry. he remembers the hand on his shoulder, the one that he shoved off as he walked away. 

he was so angry at minhyung then. he wanted to hate him for not returning his feelings. he even came within an inch of believing that he  _ did  _ hate him. but he couldn’t. he loved minhyung so much that even in the blindness of his heartbreak and humiliation, the very thing that minhyung had just broken kept beating for him. 

and it continues to beat for him, five years later. donghyuck watches him laugh in the dressing mirror. his phone slips out of his hand and falls into his lap, and he smacks at taeyong’s shoulder. he loves him. he loves him so much he can hardly stand it. donghyuck’s chest tightens at the finality of his thoughts, and when minhyung’s eyes meet his through the glass, his heart stops beating altogether. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading if u made it to the end lmao if u wanna follow my twitter i made one just for writing where u can ask q’s and see me struggle in real time as i write over 50k
> 
> idk how to add links here but my twt is seolarss


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